The term “neurodivergent” was coined in 2014 by Autistic advocate Kassiane Asasumasu to mean “neurologically divergent from typical.“ (You can find out more about what neurodivergent means on my resource page called Defining Neurodivergent.)
What I love about the word “neurodivergent” is that it uses the word diverge. One of the definitions of diverge is “to turn aside from a path or course.” There’s something intentional in this definition – a choice to follow a different path.
The road most travelled
There’s a well-known poem by Robert Frost called The Road Not Taken that ends with the line “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.” I see a life that follows societal expectations, a life that is typical, as the road most travelled. And for a long time, that was the path I was following because I didn’t know there was another option.
Prior to my ND-identification, I thought it was my job to meet societal expectations because those were the only expectations I thought existed. I had always felt different, but the idea that others would find out how different I actually was terrified me. And so I kept my differences hidden as much as possible, and I did life in the only way that I thought there was to do life.
After I had the realization about being neurodivergent, I began to see that there was a different path, one that diverged from the road most travelled. This was the road less travelled – the path that allowed me to be me, and to embrace being different rather than to hide it.
The road less travelled
The road less travelled is not only about being neurologically divergent. Yes, neurodivergent people have brains that diverge from neurotypical (and I would like to note this does not mean that neurotypical brains are better, but that they are what society deems better because those with neurotypical minds are much better at sticking to the road most travelled).
Neurodivergent people tend to not only diverge in the way our brains work, but also in many other ways including gender, sexuality, educational paths, career paths, depth of interests, communication styles, and so much more. Being neurodivergent means that you see the world differently, and I believe neurodivergence allows you to see that there is not only one road to travel, but that there are actually multiple roads, perhaps an infinite number, that are equally as valid.
Making the choice to walk the road less travelled
Being able to walk the right road for me didn’t happen overnight. The fear that had kept my divergent ways hidden from both others and myself meant that I needed a tool to be able to allow myself to start making choices that would better align with my true path. I needed to give myself permission to be divergent.
What can that look like? Some people find that writing a permission slip to themselves is helpful. For me, I simply place my hand on my heart and tell myself, “you have permission to be who you are” or “you are allowed to make this choice.” It’s a practice of connecting to yourself and honouring that there are many paths and many destinations, and that you are allowed to follow the path that is right for you.
And so I hope that you will be able to find your path, and confidently, divergently, follow it because that is what makes all the difference.
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