What does Autistic confidence look like?

When you think of a confident person, what comes to mind? My guess is it is a neurotypical idea of what confidence looks like, such as bold body language, assertive eye contact, and quick responses. If you’re Autistic, this idea of confidence may not resonate with you, but that doesn’t mean that Autistics don’t have their own version of what confidence looks like. For Autistics, confidence can look different from traditional expectations, and it often comes with unique forms of self-expression, self-advocacy, and a profound sense of authenticity. Here’s a look at what Autistic confidence can look like, on its own terms.

1. Deeply rooted authenticity

Autistic confidence often stems from an intrinsic sense of authenticity. Autistic people tend to have strong values, preferences, and passions, and they are often unapologetically true to themselves, regardless of societal pressures. Instead of bending to social norms or masking to fit in, many Autistic people exude confidence through honesty and staying true to their values. This type of confidence is less about fitting a mold and more about accepting oneself—quirks and all!

Autistic authenticity doesn’t always align with society’s conventional view of confidence. Yet, I believe this kind of unwavering self-trust and acceptance is a powerful expression of confidence in itself. Autistic confidence is about knowing who you are and being unwilling to sacrifice that, even when society doesn’t always understand.

2. Passion-driven confidence

Autistic people often have subjects they’re highly passionate about—these are generally called “special interests” or “SpIns.” The enthusiasm Autistics feel about their SpIns brings out a strong sense of self-assurance when discussing or engaging with these topics. Autistic confidence often shines when an individual is in their element, whether it’s talking about a complex concept, engaging in a creative pursuit, or diving into an intricate hobby.

In these moments, confidence may manifest as an intense focus or a detailed and enthusiastic conversation. It’s the kind of self-assuredness that comes from deeply knowing a subject and feeling genuinely excited to share it. This focus can sometimes be mistaken for shyness or even “obsession” by those unfamiliar with Autistic expression, but it’s simply a unique, specialized confidence that’s passion-driven rather than performance-driven.

3. Quiet self-assurance

Autistic confidence doesn’t always look loud or outgoing. Many Autistic people are naturally introverted, and their confidence can be quiet, grounded, and inwardly focused. Instead of needing external validation or recognition, they may find strength in their own opinions and perspectives. This kind of quiet self-assurance can be deeply grounding and calming, and it allows Autistics to thrive in their own space and rhythm.

Quiet confidence might involve having a few trusted friends rather than a large social circle, choosing not to participate in large gatherings, or preferring one-on-one conversations. It’s a reminder that confidence isn’t always big and bold; sometimes, it’s simply a calm and quiet understanding of one’s inherent self-worth.

4. Willingness to stand up for one’s needs

For many Autistics, confidence is about knowing and advocating for needs, even when those needs are misunderstood by others. This might include asking for accommodations, setting boundaries in social or work situations, or explaining why certain environments or situations aren’t comfortable. Self-advocacy requires courage, especially in a world that doesn’t always accommodate Autistic needs. Whether it’s requesting sensory-friendly environments or speaking up about overstimulation, standing up for one’s own comfort and mental health is a profound display of confidence.

This aspect of Autistic confidence is closely tied to self-trust. It involves trusting that your needs are not “too much” or “unreasonable” but are simply what you need to be able to feel comfortable and regulated. In this way, advocating for accommodations or adjustments is a powerful way to express confidence and to build trust with yourself.

5. Perseverance through rejection and misunderstanding

Confidence doesn’t mean never feeling insecure or uncomfortable, and this is especially true for Autistics who can often experience rejection or misunderstanding. For many Autistics, confidence manifests as perseverance—the ability to keep going, to stay true to oneself, and to maintain a strong sense of self even in the face of setbacks or criticism.

Autistic confidence can involve developing strategies to cope with challenging social expectations, finding allies in communities that value neurodivergence, or building a strong internal sense of self-worth and self-trust. It’s not about meeting external expectations but about adapting and surviving in a world that can be unaccommodating. This form of perseverance-based confidence is about continuing on despite adversity.

Having the courage to live Autistically

Autistic confidence can defy traditional definitions and expectations. It’s not always overt or easy to spot like neurotypical confidence; instead, it can be deeply internal, tied to an individual’s values, passions, and perseverance. From authenticity to quiet self-assurance, from advocating for one’s needs to thriving in areas of interest, Autistic confidence is varied and multifaceted, not necessarily looking the same for each Autistic individual.

Ultimately, Autistic confidence reminds us that self-assuredness is deeply personal and it doesn’t have to fit into predefined molds. Considering confidence from an Autistic lens shows us that true confidence is about being comfortable in one’s own skin, valuing one’s unique way of experiencing the world, and having the courage to live authentically and Autistically.

Did you enjoy this post? Please share it with someone who needs to boost their own Autistic confidence!