This post is the second in a six-part series on empathy from Autistic perspectives. In this post, we’ll explore cognitive empathy. Did you miss the first post on empathy and alexithymia? Find it here.
The four types of empathy
Often when people talk about empathy, they are referring to cognitive empathy. However, this is only one type of empathy. Future posts will look at the other types which include emotional, compassionate, and somatic empathy.
What is cognitive empathy?
Cognitive empathy, also known as perspective-taking or putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, involves the ability to mentally grasp and understand someone else’s point of view, emotions, and intentions. Cognitive empathy involves imagining what it is like to be another person. It is not the same as ‘theory of mind.’
What is theory of mind?
Theory of mind refers to the ability to understand that not everyone’s mind works the same as yours. Theory of mind can be considered the pre-cursor to cognitive empathy. To be able to understand someone else’s perspective first involves recognizing that others can have perspectives that differ from your own.
It is a misconception that all Autistics lack theory of mind. In the first post of this series, I explored alexithymia and how it relates to empathy. Alexithymia can affect the ability to imagine what others’ experiences are like. Autistics who are also alexithymic, therefore, may struggle with theory of mind and cognitive empathy because of how alexithymia affects their imagination.
Many Autistics are actually very strong in theory of mind because we have had to become proficient in playing the role of a neurotypical person to survive in this neuronormative world. Like any great actor could tell you, to play a role you must understand the character. What may be more true than Autistics lacking theory of mind, is that neurotypical people lack theory of mind when it comes to Autistics!
Cognitive empathy in practice
Cognitive empathy may be easier for neurotypical people, simply because the majority of people are also neurotypical. If theory of mind is the pre-cursor to cognitive empathy, then neurotypical people have a leg-up from neurodivergent people, because they can simply assume that others’ minds work like their own, and that others’ perspectives are not too different from their own perspectives. It may not even enter into their mind that someone could have a different mind than their own because they may have never had to consider this option being a possibility.
Autistic people, however, must put their cognitive empathy through multiple lenses – is the other person neurotypical? If yes, what would a neurotypical person’s mind be thinking? Would they be thinking literally or figuratively or somewhere in between? Did they notice that sensory information and is it impacting them? If they’re not neurotypical, is the other person Autistic or some other type of neurodivergent? If they are Autistic, does their Autistic mind work the same as mine? Or does it work slightly differently? If they are some other type of neurodivergent, how might their mind work? And on and on… it’s exhausting, especially given that much of this isn’t done consciously!
So if an Autistic person seems to be struggling with cognitive empathy, consider whether they have the capacity in that moment to do the mental gymnastics needed to process another’s perspective when they are already processing more than the average neurotypical person is.
Cognitive empathy and social cues
Being able to see the world from someone else’s point of view may make predicting and interpreting social cues easier. When we say “social cues” we are usually referring to neurotypical communication styles since that is the societal default.
Some Autistics struggle to predict and interpret neurotypical social cues because of the amount and complexity of the information that must be interpreted. Neurotypical communication includes many subtle cues, including facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and non-literal language like sarcasm or implied meanings. Some Autistics may need to put in great conscious effort to cognitively process these subtle cues which neurotypical people may process instinctively. This may mean that cognitive empathy is difficult to access in the moment of a back-and-forth conversation, simply because there is so much to process in that moment!
Not all Autistics struggle to interpret neurotypical social cues. Many Autistic individuals possess keen observation skills and attention to detail, allowing them to notice subtle patterns and nuances that others may overlook. This can lead to a hyperawareness of social cues, perhaps even to the extent that you don’t know from external observations that someone is Autistic (this is called masking). Yet even though an Autistic person doesn’t outwardly struggle with the cognitive empathy needed to interpret social cues in the moment, they are still processing a lot more than a neurotypical person would, which means that conversations for masked Autistics can be exhausting!
Tips for supporting cognitive empathy in Autistic individuals
- Provide clear and explicit communication: Avoid using ambiguous language or relying heavily on nonverbal cues. Instead, express thoughts and emotions directly and explicitly to help Autistic individuals understand and interpret social interactions more easily.
- Offer patience and understanding: Recognize that cognitive empathy may require extra effort and processing time for some Autistic individuals. Be patient and supportive, allowing them the space and time needed to navigate social situations at their own pace.
- Practice perspective-taking: For Autistics that struggle with cognitive empathy (or neurotypical people who don’t understand Autistics!), engaging in activities that promote perspective-taking, such as storytelling, role-playing, or discussing emotions and intentions in various scenarios, may help develop cognitive empathy skills.
In our next post, we’ll explore the second of four types of empathy, emotional empathy.
Some legal disclaimers: This post does not provide medical or therapeutic advice and is intended for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Each individual is unique, so please do not ignore professional medical advice because of something you have read on this site.
