Empathy and autism: compassionate empathy

This post is the fourth in a six-part series on empathy from Autistic perspectives. In this post, we’ll explore compassionate empathy. If you missed the previous three posts, you can find them here: Post 1: alexithymia, Post 2: cognitive empathy, and Post 3: emotional empathy.

What is compassionate empathy?

Compassionate empathy combines cognitive and emotional empathy with an additional component of action. It involves not only understanding and feeling another person’s emotions but also being motivated to help or support them in some way.

Compassionate empathy for Autistics

As is the case for other types of empathy, some Autistics are strongly compassionately empathetic, while others may struggle with compassionate empathy. Let’s look at how compassionate empathy may look for different types of Autistics.

Autistics who struggle with compassionate empathy

Here are a few reasons why some Autistics may struggle with compassionate empathy:

• Difficulty Recognizing Emotions: Some Autistics may have difficulty recognizing and understanding their own emotions (see my post on alexithymia), making it challenging for them to empathize with the emotions of others.
• Sensory Overload: Sensory sensitivities can overwhelm Autistics, making it difficult for them to focus on or connect with others’ emotional experiences. In overwhelming sensory environments, Autistics may become preoccupied with managing their own sensory input, leading to reduced capacity for empathetic responses.
• Emotional Regulation Challenges: Autistics may experience difficulties regulating their own emotions, which can impact their ability to empathize with others’ feelings. When overwhelmed by their own emotional experiences, Autistics may have limited emotional resources available to connect with and support others emotionally.
• Social Communication Differences: Autistics may struggle with social communication and perspective-taking, making it challenging for them to understand others’ experiences or express empathy in what are considered “socially appropriate” ways. They may inadvertently come across as insensitive or indifferent, even though they may genuinely care about others’ well-being.
• Cognitive Empathy Without Emotional Empathy: Some Autistics may excel in cognitive empathy, understanding others’ perspectives and mental states, but struggle with emotional empathy, feeling disconnected from or unaffected by others’ emotions. This disconnect can make it difficult for Autistics to respond compassionately to others’ emotional needs.

Autistics who are strongly compassionately empathetic

Compassionate empathy for some Autistics may involve a deep emotional connection and a genuine desire to alleviate the suffering of others. Here’s how it might manifest:

• Standing Up Against Injustice: Autistics may be deeply affected by witnessing injustice or mistreatment, prompting them to take action to address the situation.
• Advocacy and Activism: Some Autistics may engage in advocacy and activism to support marginalized groups or individuals facing discrimination, injustice, or systemic inequalities. If an Autistic person believes in a cause, they can be unstoppable in their advocacy efforts!
• Sensitivity to Others’ Needs: Autistics often demonstrate a heightened sensitivity to the emotions and needs of others. They may intuitively pick up on subtle cues and signals, allowing them to offer support and comfort to others who are struggling.
• Providing Support: Some Autistics may go out of their way to help friends, family members, or strangers who are experiencing difficulties by offering emotional support or practical assistance.
• Emotional Investment in Relationships: Autistics may form strong emotional bonds with others and invest deeply in their relationships. They may prioritize the well-being of their loved ones (sometimes to the detriment of their own well-being).

When compassionate empathy becomes disabling

For some Autistics, compassionate empathy can become overwhelming. The emotional toll of empathizing with others’ pain and struggles can lead to burnout as Autistics may exert themselves excessively in their efforts to help those they care about. This is sometimes called “compassion fatigue,” and while it is not an exclusively Autistic experience, Autistics may be at greater risk for it than allistics due to the greater processing load that we carry by living in this neuronormative world.

Tips for preventing compassion fatigue

To avoid burnout from compassionate empathy, it’s essential to prioritize self-care and establish boundaries while engaging in advocacy and support efforts. Here are a few tips on how to do this:

• Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being and prevent overextending yourself in your efforts to help others. Learn to recognize your limits and say no. Communicate your boundaries assertively and respectfully, both with others and with yourself.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially during times of stress or emotional exhaustion. Acknowledge that caring so deeply can be hard, and validate your own emotional experiences without judgment. Practice self-care activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit.
• Seek Support and Debrief: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues for support and debriefing after challenging or emotionally taxing experiences. Allow yourself to process and release accumulated emotional stress. Seek professional support from counsellors, therapists, or support groups if needed.

In our next post, we’ll explore the fourth of four types of empathy, somatic empathy.