Neuro-affirming diagnostic criteria for Autism

“Social-emotional reciprocity” refers to the back-and-forth of social interactions with other people. The “deficits” that this criterion is looking for are based on the assumption that neurotypical-style social-emotional reciprocity is the “right” way to socially interact with other humans. However, Autistics have their own way of interacting (usually with less back-and-forth, less or no small talk, and no hidden meanings behind what we say) that is just as valid as any other style of social interaction. The Double Empathy Problem, a theory which considers the differences in communication between Autistics and allistics as a two-way street instead of a deficit in Autistic communication, helps us understand that Autistic ways of socially interacting are not “deficits” but rather “differences.” Many Autistic people find that social interactions with other Autistics are easier and more comfortable than with allistics.

“Nonverbal communicative behaviors” refers to the unspoken ways that people show they are paying attention to others in a social interaction. The “deficits” are based on neurotypical-style ways of showing attention, such as making eye contact, facing towards the other person, and making (appropriate) facial expressions in response to what the other person is sharing – basically, “whole body listening.” Trying to pay attention to all of the minutiae of both verbal and nonverbal communication (eyes, faces, bodies, tone of voice, words, hidden meanings, etc.) is hard for Autistic minds, so we actually listen and pay attention better when we are not required to show neurotypical-style nonverbal communicative behaviours.

Human relationships can be difficult, especially when you haven’t yet found the people who allow you to be you. All human beings crave connection, but Autistics don’t necessarily need neurotypical-style connection. For example, many Autistics gravitate towards animals or objects because they are more predictable than humans and they don’t place neuronormative expectations on us that our Autistic minds have difficulty meeting. Many Autistics also find that relationships with other Autistics (or otherwise neurodivergent people) are more satisfying and easier in general than relationships with neurotypical people. One of the major reasons that Autistic identification is so important is that it opens up access to a community of other people who have similar minds and life experiences where you may find the type of connections that you are seeking, and with whom you may not experience as many difficulties with developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships.

B1 refers to self-stimulatory behaviour, or “stimming.” All humans stim, but Autistics tend to stim more often and have a greater need to stim. Stimming can help with coping with feeling overwhelmed or anxious, can be an expression of joy and excitement, or can simply be a pleasurable thing to do. Stims tend to be repetitive and can use any of the senses. Stimming can also be a way to communicate, such as through echolalia (repetition of recently heard words or phrases).

Autistics are often accused of being inflexible or rigid, but what allistics don’t see is how much comfort the certainty of our routines and rituals bring us in this world that is unpredictable and overwhelming to our senses and minds. Keeping things the same makes life more predictable which gives us the best chance to stay regulated and able to handle what life throws at us because we don’t have to expend precious processing energy on figuring out how to handle something that is new. Plus, Autistic minds love repetition and patterns, so routines also just feel good to our brains. (Note: if you are both Autistic and ADHD, you may find that you crave routine but struggle to maintain it since your ADHD brain needs novelty too.)

Special interests, focused interests, intense interests, SpIns – however you want to refer to them, it’s the depth of Autistic interests that sets them apart from neurotypical-style interests. Neurotypical interests tend to be wide and shallow, while Autistic interests tend to be narrow and deep. For example, both an Autistic and a neurotypical person could be passionate about a particular sports team. While the neurotypical person may show their passion by watching every game, knowing the names and background of the main players, wearing the team jersey, and talking passionately about the team when watching the game or with fellow fans, an Autistic with a deep interest in that sports team will do all of those things but take it to the next level such as learning about the historical statistics for the team and each player, buying every team-related merchandise they can get their hands on, and talking about their knowledge every chance they get. The intensity with which we dive deep into our interests is reflective of how deep the joy is that they bring us. (Note: if you are Autistic and ADHD, you may have many short-lived deep interests rather than few life-long ones since your ADHD brain needs novelty, however the depth of each short-lived interest can be equal to that of a life-long interest.)

Autistics process the sensory world differently than allistics, and we tend to find a lot of sensory input either “too much” (hyper-reactivity) or “too little” (hypo-reactivity) rather than “just right.” Because of this, it makes sense that we try to avoid the sensory input that feels most challenging/dysregulating and seek out the sensory input that feels most soothing/enjoyable/regulating. While some sensory input can be extremely distressing and dysregulating, we also have the capacity to find other sensory input more pleasurable than an allistic person might.

While Autism is lifelong – you are born Autistic and remain Autistic throughout your life – the outward perception of Autistic traits can vary depending on how skilled we are at performing neurotypical-style social interactions (aka masking) and whether we have the capacity to keep up this performance. Most late-identified Autistic adults are very good at masking and consequently, our Autistic traits may not have been noticeable to other people until after childhood or even well into adulthood (e.g., it’s very common for Autistics to no longer be able to keep up with the demands of masking once they have children of their own which then leads to exploring reasons for why they are struggling more than other parents and ultimately leads to Autistic identification). Because there is a huge genetic component to Autism, it’s also common that Autistic parents (who didn’t know they were Autistic) don’t notice Autistic traits in their children because those traits are just “normal” to them.